失去····

我失去了·你给我的那个安心·
我失去了·你给我的安全感·
我失去了·你给我的快乐·
我失去了·你给我的幸福·

失去这些·是很难敷衍的啊·
失去这些·很容易吵架啊·
失去这些·很痛苦的啊·

我很想他啊·
我很想去找他啊·
我不想再吵架了·
我不想再这样下去了·

我很怕失去你啊·
如果我真的失去你·
我要你幸福·
和另一个她一起幸福·

我的吃醋心很大·
所以当然我会吃醋咯·
不过没关系啦·
你幸福就好了·
不用再烦我的事了·

我对你·我觉得不只喜欢吧·
是爱·
可能是可能不是·
不过一种很好的感觉就对了·

人家有羡慕我们呐·····
好开心啊·

你觉得我们最近怎样呢？




The feelings I have for you is something called love
Maybe is just an illustion but it feels so right
I havent felt this way ever in my life
This is the first
And I hope is the last

Sometimes you're really damn stupid and doesnt seem to care what I think
But sometimes your really sweet and you make people feel like they're loved
But sometimes your really naive and you make me feel like im invisible
But sometimes your really understanding of 'some' situations
But sometimes your just too nice to people
Especially girls and you'll make people fall for you easily
And that's making me worry
Everyday .

Im sick of worrying
Im sick of fighting
Im sick of you not being by my side
Im sick of everything bad that's happened
I just want you to come back

It just been a week since you left
But it feels like forever [♥]





[missingyou]
♥ Caitlyn × TeTeBendan

money or happiness

Happiness or money ?

Rich ppl doesnt mean they're happy . Poor ppl doesnt mean they're sad . How bout the ppl in between ? are they sad or happy ?
If u were to choose . which would you choose ? money or happiness ? and the condition was for you to choose one , nothing more , nothing less . And you will be stuck with ur choice for the rest of ur life .

Im not rich and yet im not happy . I dont know what to do .
Hope you come back soon ><
im waiting for ur return . =]



♥ Caitlyn

end of 2009/2010 ♥ me

Was bored at auntie's house . He was sleeping . So , I took
pictures .

































































































taking pictures with his glasses XP

2009/2010 ♥ pics of TeTe and Xela

At riverside , I look so stupid in this pic > (We switched glasses)

170110 ♥ sad day

170110 Sunday
I sleepover at his house cause i wanted to follo to the airport . And they go very early . == .
Yesterday , when I just came back from his grandma's house . Then my auntie (Hoon) bring us to go lok lok . Cause she wanted to chia him a meal b4 he left Kuching . When we got back it was about 11 pm . Then , I pack a set of clothes and went to his house . We reached there at 12 something . after a while me and my ah jie (shirley) got hungry . LOL . And keep pestering him to go eat . haha . After eating it was 2-3 o clock . So , I slept at 3 something in the morning . And wake up at 5 something . == so tired .
He told me . When I was sleeping I called his name and say dont leave . keep saying it . T T
Ah lek (the dog) is gonna become a street dog . =[ . They left him behind =[ . No shelter No food No master ='[ . Just thinking about the dog makes me cry .
The pet fish and turtles all were release to the wild (if u concider long kang is the wild)
Early morning , not long from the time i woke up . Before i even step into the airport I already started crying TT .
We left for breakfast after that . Its 8 something , and we're on the way to the airport .
Reached there , they keep taking pictures .
Its time , they have to get into the airplane ='[ . I started crying . TT . The family all started crying also ><"! Everyone's saying they're last Goodbyes and had they're last hugs .
Nic tried to 安慰 me . He says : "Cailtyn , dont cry la . He'll come back . And if he doesnt . Im gonna kill him" (in chinese , of corse)
Obviously , Im not gonna stop crying so easily . But at least someone bother to try to cheer me up .
Really sad and lonely since he left (thats like about 10-8 hours ago) And Im already missing him >< !
We all cried . Seeing our loved ones going off to another state . Even if they're friends or families . Its just heartbreaking and sad .
Ting Yee didnt cried in the airport but when he went into the car his eyes started tearing up .
All the influence we all got from this family . Really is touching .
TT miss them la .! ><

paranormal activity

I finally watched paranormal activity. I went to MBO with him to watch =] . At first , his the one who said he was scared . LOL . But when near the end Im the one whose scared is kinda funny . Cause Im im the one who pulled him to go . XD . Cause near the end much more scary . So , i hold him so tight and somewhere at the end I closed my eye a couple of times .

"Paranormal activity"ONE OF THE MOST SCARIEST MOVIE EVER . LOL .



130110 ♥ Wednesday

Its Saturday 160110 今天是星期六 16日1月2010年

今天是我最伤心的一天·
因为你要走了·
今天是你最后一天在古晋了·
我就要珍惜今天·
明天我就开始我的孤单2010年·
希望你会快点回来·
我会去飞机场再看你多几眼·
送你去飞机场·是其中我最难做到的事情·
不过我一定要面对这一切的事实·

我永不会忘记我们的美好回忆·
我也希望你不会忘记·
那些照片就在我房间里的某一本书·
每当我看那些照片我都会落泪·
不知道这些眼泪几时才会停止流·
看这那些照片时·
你会想什么·
你会想回来这一切的美好吗·

你去那里会过得好吗·
你一定要小心·
你一定要回来·
你一定要幸福·
你一定要记得我·
很累·很痛·很伤心·很不舍得·

The photo album. Full of our memories.Is sitting on the table in my room.
Looking that those memories.
I started sobbing.
Its going to be long-distanced.
But I dont know if I could handle it.

I'll miss all the good times we had.
I'll miss the way you smile at me when i do something stupid.
I'll miss the mornings where I find you beside me whenever i wake up.
I'll miss the face that I could see everyday.
I'll miss the nights that we'ed walked together. side my side. holding hands.
I'll miss the stupid ways u try to make me laugh and smile.
I'll miss going to your house and just talking even if its about something lame.

Im sorry that I've been busy for these last few days.
I knew that your about to leave Kuching.
And I still didnt precious it.
Im sorry for everything bad that I'll done to you.

Seeing ur family. Being so happy for us. Makes me feel blessed.

For all the good times of the past.
tq for being next to me.
For the future.
We need to wait.
Wait till you come back.
And we'll make more memories.
memories of 2010.





2010 ♥ HIM
Waiting for him
pray for him
hope for him


♥ Caitlyn

2010 ♥ sucks

Today is 7 Jan 2010 , is our third month anniversary . Today we're not going to do much . Just simply me and you time . It seems so long that we've been together but its only 3 month . LOL .

Today's good news is : it's 3 month dy .
bad news is : just 10 more days before he goes to Sabah .

Haixx . Gonna miss him . Its gonna be lonely after those 10 days . But I cant do anything , is faith , i guess .

Today "paranormal activity" is out . Its 1 of the most scariest movies . ><"
Has planning to go watch but no car .

2010 ♥ weekday routine

1. wake up
2. wash face & brush teeth
3. eat breakfast
4. go to school
5. lonely time
6. come back from school
7. eat & bath
8. to work
9. homework
10. going back home
11. eat & bath
12. play the computer/watch tv
13. brush & and wash face
14. sleep
15. repeat the routine all over again .

Haixx . My life is so dull . so sad . so lonely .

2010 ♥ Saturday

1. wake up (very late)
2. wash face & brush teeth
3. eat lunch
4. go out with friends or family
5. come back home
6. eat & bath
7. mayb go out again
8. come home
9. play computer / watch tv (till very late)
10. go to sleep

2010 ♥ Sunday

1. wake up
2. wash face & brush teeth
3. eat lunch
4. go to dance class (first lesson on 10.1.2010)
5. come back
6. eat & bath
7. do homework
8. sleep

My simply 2010 . Need to study . Trying to catch up . PMR D= .

Year mayb go to KL with friend >.< ! excited ! But need to study first .

2010 ♥ class

I HATE MY NEW CLASS . ITS MOSTLY CHINESE BUT ITS SO LONELY .
IM JUST SITTING IN THE BACK . AND DOING MY HOMEWORK . ITS NOT THAT I DONT HAVE FRIENDS IN THE "NEW" CLASS . THEY'RE JUST NOT MY GANG . I DONT WANT TO JUST CUT IT AND BE A WANNABE . THATS JUST PITYFUL . I THINK IM BETTER OFF BEING ALONE . NOT A WANNABE .

MOST OF THE TIME THAT IM WITH FRIENDS IS RECESS TIME . GOING TO THE OTHER CLASS AND HANG .

The 2010 me . quite . harder-working . dull .
Its my life . Alone or not . Im trying to get through it .

2010 , I want to improve . Not just in my results . In everything .





by Caitlyn
1st post of 2010 .
Lonely year .