The feeling of make people's christmas wishes come true

This year . I think I made 2 people's Christmas wish come true .

The first person is my Xela . For Christmas he gave me a plan silver ring . I didnt wear it on my finger . i wore it on my necklace . Cause i dont like wearing rings . Just today he told me that he never receive any christmas presents ever for his 15 year old life . I was suprised and glad when I heard it . I was suprised because he never received any presents before . Im glad because the present I gave him , was the first present he ever received . That present is a ring . The ring was kinda plan but I quite like it . Inside the ring said "Caitlyn ♥ Alex" . =] . It actually was a couple ring (meaning a pair) . I wanted to buy both but not enough money and I dont wear rings . So , i didnt buy mine .

The second person is my 9 year old cousin , Ying Ying . She's usually kinda bossy , moody , annoying but I love her . The present I gave her is a purple colored Carebear (Is a cartoon) teddy bear . With a flower on its tummie . So cute =] . I gave it to her mom (my auntie) today . Cause she justed came back from K.L yesterday and she didnt came to my house . When my auntie gave her the teddy bear . She was so excited . My auntie texted me , in the text said
"Ying is so excited to receive your bear . She keep saying tq jie jie . tonight she sleep with the bear . Tq again ."
After I read this text . I was so touched . I was sobing . Its was really touching to know that u made a kid happy .





This Christmas might not be the perfect Christmas but is the most meaningful Christmas of my 14 year old life . ='] . so touched .

Christmas day 09 .

christmas day 09

Today , we (friends included) all wake up at about 8 something . We all wake up from our vodka countdown night . LOL . I woke up with a empty stomach . XD . I was also disappointed when someone didn't stay at my house for sleepover . =[ . So sad . So , i sleep alone in my big empty queen sized bed . I slept very well . Just not perfect . I wanted you to hold me still the sun rises . I wanted to wake up and find you beside me . I wanted this Christmas to be 1 of my most memorable Christmas's . But nth ever goes the way I wanted . So , what the hell . just forget it . Forgive and forget . I think is the best way to get through life . If u cant forgive . You definitely wont forget . After a while tingyee gone home . Cause of neighbor's wedding . I went downstairs to look for some food . I ate icecream sandwich , noodle , and a cup of sprite . About 10 or 11 something , he came .

At 1 something , me my sis and mom went to my mother's friend's house for Christmas open house . Ate some food and drank soft drinks . My mom and her friend just keep taking taking taking . BORING . And i just sit there msging . XD . Is 3 o clock (they been taking for 2 hours)and I finally went to my Elva's house . Me and Elva went to spring =] . Finally . we just keep waking and talking till 5.30 and waited for our car to pick us to her family's christmas gathering (another gathering) . Ate and talk (as usual) . Is 9.30 and im back home . I went to his house and talked .

Havent talked for an hour . we fight AGAIN .
the reason this time is not listening to what im saying (very lame reason but when it happens to you , you'll get it . you'll feel neglected and forgoten) . Then , comes the silent part . everyone is silent and feel so bored . So i just took my handphone and walked home . By myself . I hated being alone . walking alone . eating alone . sleeping alone . The only 2 things i can do is being with my friends and the computer . The only 2 medicines . That can at least stop the loneliness .

Fifteen - Taylor Swift

You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors
Its the morning of your very first day
you say hi to your friends that you aint seen in a while
Try and stay out of everybodys way
its your freshman year and youre gonna be here
for the next four years in this town
hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say
you know I havent seen you around, before

Cause when youre fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
youre gonna believe them
and when youre fifteen
feeling like there nothing to figure out
well count to ten, take it in
this is life before who youre gonna be
fifteen

You sit in class next to a redhead named Abigail
and soon enough youre best friends
laughing at the other girls who think theyre so cool
well be out of here as soon as we can
and then youre on your very first date and hes got a car
and youre feeling like flying
and youre momas waiting up and you think hes the one
and youre dancing round your room when the night end
when the night ends

Cause when youre fifteen and somebody tell you they love you
youre gonna believe them
when youre fifteen and your first kiss
makes your head spin round but
in your life youll do greater than dating the boy on the football team
but I didnt know it at fifteen

When all you wanted was to be wanted
wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now
Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
but I realized some bigger dreams of mine

and Abigail gave everything she had to a boy
who changed his mind and we both cried

Cause when youre fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
youre gonna believe them
and when youre fifteen, dont forget to look before you fall
Ive found that time can heal most anything
and you just might find who youre supposed to be
I didnt know who I was supposed to be at fifteen

La la la la la .. la la la la la . La la la la la

Youre very first day
take a deep breath girl
take a deep breath as you walk through those doors

my feelings

Sometimes . I feel neglected . Because you let me wait .
Sometimes . I feel forgotten . Because in a crowd im the quite one .
Sometimes . I feel broken . Because I'll lose myself easily .
Sometimes . I feel lost . Because I dont have a goal .
Sometimes . I feel stupid . Because Im around peole that are smart .
Sometimes . I feel ugly . Because Im always around pretty people .


Sometimes . I feel that Im not a good girlfriend . Because of the way i treat u .
Sometimes . I feel that Im too much for anyone to handle . Because of my materialistism .
Sometimes . I feel that you could have find another , thats so much better than me . Because I think you deserve it .
Sometimes . I feel like crying . Because Im the problem that is breaking us apart .
Sometimes . I feel sorry . Because of all the chaos i caused .
Sometimes . I feel much grief . Because of all I been through .
Sometimes . I feel like i want to leave this earth . Because Im fed up with the world .
Sometimes . I feel that i just need to be alone . Because I need a sense of peace .
Sometimes . I feel like running fast . Just because i want to feel the wind .
Sometimes . I feel like hearing shaterring glass . Because thats is the same sound as my heart breaking .


I think the only way u could understand is only by reading my blog .

我很烦..
烦到我自己该不该做的东西..
都不懂了..

我没心..
我不知道为什么..
我就是没心..

我难过..
不过我不清楚我难过什么..
我就是难过..

我生气..
不过我不知道为什么..
可能因为我烦到火也着起来..

我哭了..
因为我很痛苦..

我想离开这世界..
因为我觉得没那么的烦..

我不相信..
因为我被伤过..
我不想再被伤..

你说的一切..
我没做到..
你还需时间..
不过我不知怎样给你那个时间..

你要离开了..
我不勉强..
就让你走..











你关心我..
不过你给的关心..
我感到很烦..
就骂了你..


我不是不要你的关心..
我只是烦到..
我自己也控制不了..









你被伤了..
我知道..
不过我不知道怎样医那个伤口..


你哭了..
我不懂怎样去安慰..
我就让你哭吧..


你让我等..
我等..等到我快烦死了..
最后我还是自己默默地烦..





你生气..
我惹的..


你伤心..
我害的..


你难过..
我弄的..


你烦恼..
我给的..




















我对不起你..
不过我不懂要怎么说出口..
所以我让你受到那么多的伤..
就是因为我不好..





















对不起

19 Dec 09

对不起..
这三个字我听得好累..
我不想再听见这三个字..

这三个字..
对我来说没意思了..
因为只会说这三个字..
你还会做什么呢..









我常常问自己..
我会太相信你吗?
会太信任你吗?
会对你太亲切吗?

好乱啊..
我该不该这样做..








你说..
你会让我开心..
我要什么就给我什么..
不过情况却不是这样..

你说..
你会让别人羡慕我..
不过我看..
是我羡慕别人..
不是别人羡慕我..

你说..
你会永远 爱我..
你也说..
你会永远不会抛弃我..
不过我觉得..
都不可能..












我不要是那位天真的小女孩..
等着我的白马王子来..
我不是那种人..
我永不会是那位小公主..






以前..
你说..我太坚强了..
会给别的男生感觉..
他们自己太衰弱了..

现在呢..
我会坚强吗!?
如果我坚强的话..
我不会为你哭了..










今晚..
9点12分..12月19 号..
我看到你发的信息..
信息里面写着..

"再见..我爱你..宝贝"

我心里知道你不是和我分..
不过不知道为什么..
我的眼泪就不知不觉流了下来..
听着我电话的悲伤情歌..









说好不哭的..
到来我们都哭了..








我脑子常和我心说..
他反正都要离开我了..
我为什么要那么爱他呢..
为什么还要为他哭呢..











学着要坚强..

要珍惜..

学者要对自己的幸福..

负责任..











♥ Caitlyn

Bout me . ♥

Caitlyn ♥

TeTe














heart =]










































Me .

bitch

Damn bitchy jerk . if you want to say bad things bout me just say it in my face ! if ur so great , then say it in my face . im fed up dealing with "your kind" . im not going to waste my time . say wat u like . is non of my business . spread wat u like . cause the ppl who know me well . they will know whats the truth and wats not . i admit im not perfect . i didnt say i was . nobodies perfect . and everyone knows that . they are ppl whose close to perfect . but im not 1 of them and i know yuor nt either . so back off .  i know u like stabbing ppls backs . and do you also know that ur being stabbed too . but is nt from me . is the ppl who knows you . there are so many , i hear ppl say so many thing bout you . do you know that ?! if not go look in the mirror first . then open ur mouth , bitchy . if u think ur so great then so be it . the ppl that knows me and you . they will know the differents . your heart knows what you have done . ppl know wat you have and havent done . its just pityful .

listen to all those rumours bout you . which are true and which are false . nobody knows , only ur heart knows . so , careful bout wat u say ! im not the only victim thats been stabbed by you . i know a lot of ur friends been stabbed by you too . even your best friends . i dunno how you get through ur life and i dont care . you can die as if i care . =P hng ! haha .

IM GOING TO ENJOY MY LIFE . AND NO ONE IS GOING TO STOP ME . AND OBVIOUSLY IT WONT BE YOU . =]

♥ Xela

Oct 07 , 2009
something happen . us happen . nw , theres no me or you only us ♥

Dec 07 , 2009
our two month anniversary =] . we went to bing! coffee .
ordered :
- blackcarrent tea
- ice blended tiramisu
- brownie =d yum .
- new york cheese cake
- oreo cheese cake =d
- lasagna . so big =d . so full =D


Dec 14 , 2009
today is the 71st day of us ♥